If you were to ask anyone who they’d consider to be the number 1 video game mascot in pop culture, 9.5/10ths of the population will agree it is the famous Italian plumber, the one and the only redcap himself: Super Mario!
And how could you not think of him? He was the very first mascot created for a video game franchise in general, on top of that, he paid the for many others to come: Sonic the Hedgehog, Pikachu, Ryu, Scorpion, etc.
Naturally, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I love Mario’s games too, who doesn’t? Heck, I own at least a good amount of them to this very day. Growing up as a kid, a part of me couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like if an animated movie were made of the franchise, heck, to this day, I’d still have that vision from years ago.
But that’s what I envisioned.
By now you might be thinking now, “But, Max, didn’t you ever watch the actual movie that came out in 1993?” My answer is that I did indeed and I’d like to say when compared to Street Fighter or the Mortal Kombat duology movies, all three of which I saw as a kid to early teen, I didn’t catch the Mario movie until I think I was say at least in high school, and not because I had a lack of interest or anything like that, but because for the longest time I only heard of it, but never watched it.
I was excited to check it out, despite being fully aware that the Internet had both IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes as famous websites, I didn’t want bad ratings to hold me back and get me down. So, that said, I may as well give you my overall impression as to what I thought of this movie, this is my review for the live-action Super Mario Bros. movie:
So the movie opens up with the trademark and catchy Super Mario Bros. theme, but the instant I got a look see as to who’ve they’ve casted as our quadrupair of characters and saw that the story doesn’t open up on the Mushroom Kingdom, it’s at this point where the movie loses all of its creditably:
- Playing Mario is Bob Hoskins from Who Framed Roger Rabbit
- Ice Age‘s John Leguizamo is on board as Luigi
- Dennis Hopper from Speed is handling the role of King Koopa
- And no, I don’t mean Bowser, he’s just called King Koopa in the movie, which is also his Japanese game name too.
- And FernGully‘s Samantha Mathis plays the role of Princess Daisy
- Again, no, I didn’t mean to say Peach, it’s Super Mario Land‘s Daisy in this movie instead of the former.
Anyway, we get some nonsense about dinosaurs once roamed the Earth before the meteorite game down and whipped them out. I would say ‘all of them‘, but that doesn’t happen. For instead, a parallel dimension was created that allowed them to become intelligent folk, just like us. But lately, their off, they’ve been looking to find away to leave what is later christened as Dinohattan to find a way back to Earth.
Meanwhile on Earth, many years later, in the city of Brooklyn, New York, the Mario Bros. are given a job at a local café, while driving to work we get to know the brothers personalities right then and there: Mario is more of a pessimistic and rather spiteful and Luigi is more of an opportunist and benevolent, and to the movie’s credit, that’s a good personality for Luigi, but seeing Mario being the opposite of everything he is in the games soon causes us to realize that Bob Hoskins isn’t playing the famous hero and plumber we all know and love, if anything, he’s just playing Eddie Valiant, if his brother Teddy were still alive, but gone horribly wrong.
DISCLAIMER:
I being of sound, mind and body do NOT hate Bob Hoskins in any shape or form. If anything, Hoskins’ role of Eddie Valiant from Who Framed Roger Rabbit is easily by far (to me, at least, and others I am sure) THE best performance of his career.
They don’t make to the job in time as a rival group of plumbers, the Scapelli’s work at the job instead. Meanwhile at a local construction site, we get to meet Daisy, a paleontologist, who was abandoned as a baby and has been fascinated about dinosaurs since her birth.
But unbeknownst to her, trying to get their hands on her are two of King Koopa’s minions: Iggy, played by The Grand Budapest Hotel‘s Fisher Stevens, and Spike, played by Richard Edson, you may remember him as that crazy and fun loving garage attendant with his co-pilot the late Larry Jenkins from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Jenkins [in slow-mo, too]: I know, me too!
Both [in unison and normal speed]: Let it be written on our tombs, “God bless you, Ferris Bueller!”
Yep, that Richard Edson!
Incidentally, don’t try to deny it, you’re bound to agree that’s what they were thinking during that scene, that, and both Edson and Jenkins had a ball being in that scene from Ferris Bueller.
Anywho, they’re given orders by King Koopa to kidnap Daisy and bring back a piece of meteorite she has around her neck, which allows Dinohattan to merge their world with ours, to say that both are the poor man’s Wario and Waluigi is the understatement of the year, but then again, Wario only appeared a year prior in Super Mario Land 2: Six Golden Coins before the movie’s release and Waluigi wasn’t created until 8 years later after the movie was released appearing in Mario Tennis 64. While looking for work, the Mario Bros. get acquainted with Daisy and take her out to dinner.
The original Wario and Waluigi, gone horribly wrong, but at least the latter two had class.
That evening at the construction site, Luigi is shown by Daisy her work, it is only when Scapelli begins flooding the place, Luigi has Mario come in to help him out, that things go more awry as Iggy and Spike kidnap Daisy. And to give the film some extra credit, it’s nice to see the Mario Bros. do some actual plumbing, for outside of going in and out of pipes in the games, we never see them do any plumbing in there.
Learning of them being followed, Iggy and Spike tell Koopa and his wife Lena about the plumbers. Lena is played by Fiona Shaw of My Left Foot and some of the Harry Potter movies fame, and to be fair, it is nice touch in the movie, as we never see or hear of Bowser’s wife in the games.
The only time in a Mario storyline we’re given an answer whether or not Bowser has a wife.
So Dinohattan is put on full alert to look out for the brothers, and they’re not the only ones arrested, joining them is an anti-Koopa songwriter instead of the Mushroom Retainer named Toad, played by Neill Kirby McMillan, Jr.
Oh, I’m sorry, I meant to address him by his stage name… Mojo Nixon. Anyway, while in prison, Toad tells the brothers their original king was once a kind and benevolent ruler, but when Koopa took over, he was turned into a bunch of fungus which has been spread throughout the entire kingdom.
Koopa then interrogates Mario and Luigi by telling them if they don’t tell him where Daisy’s necklace is he will de-evolve them into Goombas, which he shows by doing a demonstration on Toad. Oh, good, I’ve been wondering what they look like in this movie. I bet they’re gonna be the small fungus shaped enemies that you can easily defeat by jumping on th…
’em?
What the blue Spiny Shells from Mario Kart in the hell is that thing!? That’s not a Goomba! that looks a like mix between Rhys Ifans portrayal of Dr. Curt Connors/The Lizard from The Amazing Spider-Man and Spider-Man: No Way Home, as well as a Sasquatch monster, and heaven knows I don’t bring up that other movie (*SHUDDER*), the better! But seriously though, I can’t be the only be the one who notices the similarities!
and Rhys Ifans as Dr. Connors/The Lizard from The Amazing Spider-Man:
Separated at birth or identical twins? You be the judge.
Hmm, I think I need an expert’s opinion. Mr. Kropp, what do you think?
Thank you, Bernie!
Anyway, Mario and Luigi turn the tables on Koopa thanks to a slip of the tongue has him saying he came from the T. Rex, and to that I say, “Really? I never would’ve guessed, Koopa. It only makes sense that you’d come from the king of dinosaurs, as you did a ‘thank you very much’, just like Elvis, good for you.”
Oh, by the way, I was being sarcastic!
Thank you, Abu.
So the Mario Bros escape prison and figure their next move is to get the necklace back, which was stolen earlier by the bouncer of the Boom Boom Bar named Big Bertha, by enlisting the help of Iggy and Spike, they get it back, only for it to be stolen again, this time by Lena. As for Daisy, she is told by Koopa she’s not of human descent, she is in fact… A Toon.
That makes two of us, Eddie.
No, it turns out Daisy is actually, in fact, a dinosaur herself… I got nothing. Anyway, the Mario Brothers then enter the tower, do some more plumbing and in order to proceed the suit up at long last in their trademark outfits. Finally, I was anxious to know how they’re gonna pull that off. Let’s see how Hoskins and Leguizamo look. I bet they’re gonna look fabu…
Lous? That’s it, that’s what the outfits look like?! The costume designers had one job to get it right!
I mean, sure you don’t see overalls as that often in movies, but seriously, that’s the best the costume department could come up with? *SIGH!*
So anyway, Mario and Luigi find Daisy, who tells them it turns out not only is the fungus her father, but also hostage are the missing Brooklyn Girls, and she also had help escaping briefly with help from Yoshi. Wait, Yoshi’s in this movie? Okay, everything’s looked pretty bad so far, so maybe there’s hope yet.
Well, I’ve officially lost faith in this movie getting any better. Tell you what, I’m gonna skip ahead to the end and summarize my thoughts. The Mario Bros. stop Koopa and Lena, the original King, aka Daisy’s father, becomes normal again, Daisy has to stay in order to get Dinohattan back to normal and on Earth, the Mario Bros. are hailed as heroes until Daisy returns reminding them of a new threat, which we’ll never get established as a sequel in the near future. Oh, and Iggy and Spike are visited by Nintendo and told that their their adventure will be made into a video game.
THE END!
And there you have it, the Super Mario Bros. movie in all of its dishonor. Not only is it a bad adaptation of the source material it’s easily by far one of the worst adaptations out there, especially seeing it was the very first live-action movie based upon a video game franchise. That said, there are things I just barely like about the movie.
The keyword being barely…
- There are funny bits, just not a whole lot. If you want examples, here you are, but listen carefully:
- Luigi getting tongue tied when he first meets Daisy, seeing him stammer over his speech.
- As well his fascination with dinosaurs used to be in Brooklyn, Mario even replies how there used to be Dodgers in Brooklyn too, this is a nice nod to the fact the team moved to Los Angeles and how they were once a baseball team in Brooklyn.
- The subplot about Koopa ordering a pizza, until it arrives at the end, very funny stuff.
- The scene where in which Mario and Luigi their mugshots taken, especially how they mistake the cameras for guns.
- The scenes Koopa where “Bob-Omb?” and “Monkey!” scenes, as well as calling himself an “Evil egg sucking son of a snake”.
- The whole escape from the police station sequence, it has some really funny moments.
- And finally, the elevator dancing Goombas sequence and Mario being saved later by Luigi, who admits to his brother he should try out the Mets, Mario replies that he’d give him a high five, but then Luigi would be an only child.
- Like I said earlier, it’s nice to see Mario and Luigi do actual plumbing here as they hardly do any in the games. As well as showing Bowser with a wife, something that, again, the games don’t show.
- It’s nice to see Luigi be a whole lot brave here than in the games, plus, the movie does confirm him and Daisy as a couple.
- Though that said, why in the name of Miyamoto’s creative genius does Mario not address Daisy by name when she’s kidnapped? At least try to show some respect for your brother’s kidnapped girlfriend, Mario!
- True story by the way, never once, does Mario utter Daisy by name in the movie.
- Though that said, why in the name of Miyamoto’s creative genius does Mario not address Daisy by name when she’s kidnapped? At least try to show some respect for your brother’s kidnapped girlfriend, Mario!
- The soundtrack to the movie, both songs and score by Alan Silvestri is actual not too bad. They’re not anything groundbreaking, but the actual soundtrack is tolerable:
- It’s got songs like Joe Satriani’s “Speed of Light”, Marky Marky’s “I Want You” Roxette’s “Almost Unreal”, which I think serves as the love theme for Luigi and Daisy. Those, and many more hits, check it out, it’s a pretty underrated album.
- It’s nothing you’d expect to hear in a Mario movie, sure, but as I said, it is tolerable.
- It’s got songs like Joe Satriani’s “Speed of Light”, Marky Marky’s “I Want You” Roxette’s “Almost Unreal”, which I think serves as the love theme for Luigi and Daisy. Those, and many more hits, check it out, it’s a pretty underrated album.
- In Mario and Koopa’s final battle, a Bom-Omb is used, and ironically enough, it it does behave very much like its game counterpart, it’s one of the few things the movie actually does get based off the games done right.
- If you’re wondering if the cast went onto do anything better after this movie, the short answer is “Yes, of course.”
- Bob Hoskins has appeared in both the animated film Balto and a TV version of Charles Dickens’s David Copperfield, they’re pretty good, I highly recommend checking out the latter.
- John Leguizamo went to go on and do another video game character, only as the voice, more specifically Globox in Rayman 3: Hoodlum Havoc and I am sure there are other movie roles he’s done that are tolerable on his part, but I haven’t followed his career, so I can’t give credit.
- Dennis Hopper went on to do the main villain in Speed, haven’t seen it yet, but I want to.
- Fiona Shaw, as I mentioned earlier, went on to play Aunt Petunia in 5 of the Harry Potter films, she’s actually really good in the role.
- Fisher Stevens, as I said, would go to be in The Grand Budapest Hotel, it’s really funny, check it out.
- Lance Henriksen, who did Daisy’s human father, King Reznor, had gone on to the voice of Kurchak in Disney’s Tarzan.
- Don Lake, who had a small minor role as Sergeant Simon, one of Koopa’s soldiers has voiced Stu Hopps, Judy’s father from Disney’s Zootopia.
- And finally: Frank Welker, who voiced the Goombas and Yoshi, as well as Dan Castellaneta, who voiced the Narrator, are still doing voice over work to this day.
- And lastly, for as corny as this sounds, the movie did teach us Mario lovers and game players a valuable lesson for all Mario games past, present and near future to come: “Trust the fungus.”
- Again, it may sound corny in hindsight, but remember, mushrooms are the main power-up of the game series, capable of both growing you and giving extra lives, so it’s only fitting that is a good line.
But that’s where I draw the line on good, cause the rest of the movie is just abysmal, that said, a part of me couldn’t help but think that no love was given during the making of this movie, understandable of course, when you realize none of the cast members or staff knew they were doing a movie based upon a video game.
That said, I can’t help but wonder, what would it be like if the game cast ever voiced their opinion on movie. In fact, I’ve actually took the liberty of doing so. Granted, I didn’t ask Charles Martinet or anything like that, but I merely asked the character themselves, so if you wanna know what the cast of the games thought, just see below:
So, Mario, how does it feel to know you and Luigi were the first video game characters to get a movie, live action wise?
Yes, if only Hollywood had paid a little more attention to hiring people who knew your video games inside out.
Hey, Luigi, care to give your insight?
Couldn’t have said it any better, Luigi.
How about you, Daisy, what’d you think of the movie?
They sure did, Daisy, Hollywood surely did.
Toad, any choice words as to what you just saw?
The feelings mutual, Toad.
What did you think, Bowser? Can you tell me how you felt?
No doubt about it, your highness.
Tell me, Iggy, care to give my fellow blog readers your perspective?
King Bowser’s trusted associate, I am now his… cousin?!
Yuck! Are all humans on the Earth this dense?
Well, not all of them, Iggy, but half of the population can be. For mammals, they’re not all acceptable.
Well, I can’t ask a random Bom-Omb or a Spike enemy, so that just leaves you, Yoshi. What’s your perspective?
And I agree, dino dude: You’re supposed to be cute and fluffy.
Well, that’s all I have for today, but as I end it here: I’ve heard that there’s a brand-new animated Mario movie on the horizon, so hopefully, that one will be much better. And I swear to the Power Stars: right here, right now, if Hollywood so much as thinks of going for broke and chooses to cast Josh Gad as the voice of Mario, or anyone else, I’m out… But hopefully, that won’t happen.
I haven’t felt this upset since they casted as Ryan Reynolds as the voice of, body movement and everything else as Detective Pikachu.
Until then, I’m Big Max signing off…
Overall final rating:
Four out of ten Power Stars.
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